Whew where do I start? I still remember the 1st time I heard it.. “You’re the black version of Miss Piggy”… at the time it didn’t click I was being made fun of because we were just playing normal. It wasn’t till I told my mom what was said and she wanted to know who said that to me, that it was more to it than I realized. As I got older I continued to gain weight, then I had to start wearing glasses so that made it worse. Kids befriended me because my mom worked crazy hours so I was always home alone, so they used that for their time to do whatever with whomever, and I of course allowed it wanting to fit in. Guys would act like they wanted to talk to me, but all they really wanted was one thing only to get mad when I said no, and proceed to tell me they didn’t want my fat black self anyway, they were doing me a “favor”. I began to wish and dream I was someone else, preferably a smaller light skin version of myself because it seemed that’s who people flocked too. So many nights I cried myself to sleep hating my life, hating myself, wanting to be different so bad, not understanding why I couldn’t look like my father who was light skin, or my grandmother. I allowed my insecurity to rule my life, became a puppet to many so I would feel important, especially with men. I would tell myself this was okay and nothing will ever change that, allowing men to mistreat me, verbally and physically BUT GOD showed me that I was more than that. Now I’m a mother to two beautiful girls, and I remind them daily we are not defined by our weight, our skin color nor how we dress; that we are beautiful inside and out. There are moments those insecurities creep up but I remind them and myself, I may be black, I may be big but God reminds me daily, I’m beautiful!❤
You are beautiful! Walk in that truth EVERYDAY!!
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