Hey everyone!!! I hope you all have been doing well!!!! I got something that’s been on my heart and mind for a while and last week, the Lord confirmed to me that this should be my next post!!! This post is for those that know they need to change but are afraid that they will “fail” or “mess up!” or afraid of all the people they could lose, etc.!!
One of the hardest things I feel we go through is realizing when we need to change! Everyone walks around like their burps don’t stink when we are all a mess in different ways and trying to figure out this thing called LIFE! As amazing as God has worked in my life! As happy as I am now! I still have things that God is working on in me right this second! I am not perfect! No one is! And although you may see a difference in me and my lifestyle, I am still very much a work in progress but the thing is – I KNOW that I still have things about me that need to be changed and I accept that instead of trying to cover it up, posing as perfection! There is no perfection on this earth! The only perfection resides in Heaven! So anyone claiming as though they don’t fail or need to be worked on is not only lacking honesty with you and others but also they’re lacking (say it with me) SELF-HONESTY!!!!!
Now this next statement may come as a surprise to some but coming from a person who has changed and works to change every single day, I say it with all confidence! CHANGE. IS. NOT. HARD!!!!! The only time changing is hard is when you have not made up your mind to do it! Take losing weight for instance. For so many years I HATED my size! I was so embarrassed that t-shirts didn’t fit! (the bottom part of my belly was always cold :-|) – I was so oddly shaped! I already had a big behind but now there was roundage EVERYWHERE! I looked like a friggin’ bumblebee! (you know – pushed out belly, big rear and little legs! 😦 hahaha!) Seriously though!!! I HATED the way I looked but I continued to eat the wrong things. I continued to not exercise and just be lazy! So my pants size kept going up! I didn’t like my circumstances but my mind was not yet made up to change them! But one day, I was just tired! Sick of how I looked! Sick of being talked about! Sick of not feeling comfortable and confident in my own skin! So I MADE. UP. MY. MIND!!!! Sometimes I wanted to give up! Sometimes I didn’t feel like getting up at 5 am to go to the gym! Sometimes I wanted a burger instead of a salad but my mind was made up! So any time the easy route came to mind – my made up mind remembered that I had a goal and that I had to keep pushing!!!! A made up mind will take you places you never knew you could even go!
This is true of those that say they want to change their life also! They want to get saved! They want to live a good, clean life! The first step is a made up mind!! A mind to stop doing things your own way! A mind to not try to do the bare minimum to get by! A mind to surrender your will to God’s will! It all starts in making up your mind!! Some may say that I don’t know what I am talking about! Some may say it is hard! My question is – can you look back and honestly say that your mind has ever been truly made up!! See a lot of people say they want to change and what they really mean is they want their situation to change and they know God can do that! There’s a difference in wanting to change yourself and wanting your situation to change! See if you just try to change to fix a situation, then when it is fixed – you’ll go back to doing exactly what you did before! A lot of people say “yes” for the blessings! I was once that person! I said “yes!” because I wanted to please other people!! Now we’ve discussed this before – you can never really please people so believe me, my “yes” ran out and I walked away!!! But when God was dealing with me this time – I gave Him my “yes!” because I was truly tired of the life I was living and I wanted to be a better person! Now when I knew it was time, I was so afraid! I knew that I was ready BUT I thought about all the things I could possibly lose! The relationships that would end! The people that would walk away! And that absolutely happened but because I had the courage to change who I am – even when people walked away, I still had strength to stand afterwards! Why? Because I had a MADE. UP. MIND!!
It’s sometimes so easy to continue in what we know is familiar! Talking to the same people. Going to the same places. Wearing the same hair style. But sometimes, change is not only absolutely necessary for growth but it’s necessary for a better life! Who wants to stay the same year after year; day after day?!? I know people I used to be friends & in relationships with – still doing the same thing they used to! Still starting drama. Still bar and club hopping. Still not able to see the issues within them own selves! To them – they may be happy – to each is own! But as for me – I don’t want to stay the same always! Now don’t get me wrong – the root of who I am, is who I am! I am Kiesh! Goofy, loud, hard-loving, passionate and silly Kiesh! But I want to evolve and mature every day! I don’t want the same thing that made me upset two years ago to make me upset now! I don’t to hold grudges. I don’t want to stay isolated and not meet new people! I don’t want to automatically see the worse in people because of people in my past! I want to grow for the better!! That’s just me! And the only time I’ve ever had a problem with change is when I didn’t want to do it!
I feel it’s also important to note that if you feel you are ready for a change – please make sure you are changing for yourself!!! You have you all day, everyday – in the most secretive of places, it’s you! So you have to be comfortable and ready for whatever change is coming so you cannot do it for someone else because the change won’t truly last! Change needs to be in your heart and once you make your mind up – it will be!!! Will it be scary? Absolutely! Will people look at you crazy? Of course!! Will people walk away? FORTUNATELY, YES!!! I say fortunately because ANYBODY that walks away from you while you’re trying to make your life better – was never a friend in the first place!! So raise your hand and wave “So Long Buh-Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” They don’t need to go where you’re headed anyway!!!!
Change for yourself! Change for life!!!
With Broken, Beautifulness,