Hey yall heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!! I’m back with part two! Glory and honor to God for the outpouring of support for my comeback in part one of “Perfection…..? Please.!” I am thankful that you guys were able to identify with me because after all, none of us want to feel alone in this thing!!! So I am extremely thankful that God has allowed me to be able to share things with you all so that you know that you’re not alone – you’re not weird for feeling/thinking certain things – you’re human and we are gonna be OK! (insert strong arm emoji here!)🤣
In the last post I gave you an update on where I am currently in my life and the struggles to overcome some heavy things that I dealt with in my past! So of course, I want to go over the things I did that helped me get to the point of understanding – it’s OK if I’m not perfect. It’s OK if everything around me isn’t perfect! It’s OK if everything I am connected to isn’t perfect! It’s OK! Now let me say this – although I am in a really good mental place in accepting this logic right now – this is something that I have to be INTENTIONAL about every single day! I’ve had this complex my whole life and if you think it goes away just like that – you’re not at all sane! LOL! But seriously! It does not go away overnight – it’s a process and you have to work at it every single day! Just like weight loss – you have to be intentional about meal planning. You have to be intentional in taking time to work out. You have to be intentional! (my new fav word in being a better human, btw.🤗) Okay – here we go – what I did/am doing!!
STEPS TO FORGETTING PERFECTION AND CELEBRATING IMPERFECTIONS!
- Acknowledge Him in all your ways.
- Okay – so people don’t really get how powerful this scripture is! I think sometimes we feel like there are certain things that are off limits when asking God for help! We limit our access to God and eventually our complete healing of things because we feel like this isn’t big enough for God or this isn’t about anything spiritual so it’s not His department! Can I let you in on a little secret? EVERYTHING IS HIS DEPARTMENT! He specializes in everything! I have to get better about certain things as well! I have a headache – it’s too small for Him! I’m feeling just “blah” today – nothing to worry God about! NO! He’s there – ready and willing to take everything you’re carrying on Himself! (1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.) We have to stop limiting God and just let Him be… GOD!!! So that’s what I did. I told God – “I NEED YOUR HELP IN THIS BATTLE!!!! I CANNOT DO IT ON MY OWN AND I DON’T WANT TO DO IT ON MY OWN! I NEED YOU TO KEEP REMINDING ME THAT I DON’T HAVE TO BE PERFECT. THAT YOU MADE ME AND YOU MAKE NO MISTAKES!” I continue this prayer like every day!
- I removed (unfollowed, stop viewing/listening) to things that made me feel like I needed to be perfect!
- Social media can be wonderful tool if used correctly! I can’t speak for anyone else but myself and sometimes the people I followed on Instagram or even just saw on social media made me feel like there was something wrong me! “How are they always perfect! Every hair is in place. I can’t see one pore. They always have it together!” So, I made myself take a break from all of that “perfection” and focus on what the truth was instead of reviewing a lie over and over again! How many of us upload a picture where we look absolutely nuts? How many people would post that today they felt fat in the pants they had on a week ago and felt their best self in? How many would say that before they got on live they were in tears because they felt their family didn’t love and support them? We rarely share those ugly moments to the world – celebrities included! You don’t hear about their breakups usually until months later, all the while, they’ve been posting looking happy as ever while their heart was secretly breaking! I had to process that! We’re all human! We’re all battling something and while I’m looking at them thinking they had it all together, they’re wishing they had what I have! (not me in particular – you get it, right? OK. Good.) See, we change our hair, outfits, nails, etc. for what everyone says is good/perfect instead of looking into ourselves seeing that we are already perfection because we are us…. Originally. I know that sounds cliché but it’s absolutely truth! Our perfection comes in being unapologetically who we are – imperfectly perfect! I look at myself. I could have a tighter stomach. Smaller feet. Better skin. I could – but I don’t! But when I wake up every day – I don’t look in the mirror and see something wrong with it but when I would get on social media, I’d see someone with a tighter stomach or smaller feet or better skin and then all of a sudden, I’m focusing on my imperfections! WHY?!?!?!?! Who said I have to have those things to be OK! Society. The bullies from school. Ex boyfriends. All of whom – DON’T MATTER IN MY STORY!! Not one time have I walked in to see my fiancé and he said, baby you’d be so much more beautiful if you didn’t have that blotch on the right side of your face! Not one time have I gotten dressed up and put on my heels and thought, man my foot doesn’t look good in these 9 1/2s – I better stay home! So why allow a tool that practically only shows people at their very best make me feel insecure about Kiesha? So, I took a break from social media every day and got more intimate with me! I studied myself naked! (Insert gasp here, Saints!)🤣 I stood in the mirror and just looked at me! Instead of focusing on the things that I didn’t necessarily like, I focused on the things I did! And then those things that I didn’t – which as I’ve expressed before – is basically just my stomach, I started working to change! Why complain about something I CAN change! I started eating cleaner and working out! We can’t change our height. Skin complexion. Eyes etc. so why not love what’s uniquely yours instead of envying/comparing yours to someone else! Why do we do this to ourselves! Can I tell you something?? YOU ARE SO LIT! Your eyes! Your hair! Your smile! YOU!! Go look in the mirror and find something you love about you and say it to yourself! (When you find that thing, go on your social media platform and POST IT AND CELEBRATE IT FOR YOURSELF!!! Tag “Wearebrokenbeautifully” so we can celebrate you too!!!💕💕) Focus on that! And if you find something you don’t like that you CAN change, work at changing it! If you can’t change it – ask God (step one) to help you fall in love with that very thing that HE gave to you! Don’t stop asking HIM and don’t stop celebrating you! Speak it EVERYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”)
- Find pleasure in the smallest things (Repeat: “it’s OK!”)
- If you’re like me, you plan things out down to the last detail and if it doesn’t go as plan, it was a lost cause!! I had such a bad habit of this! Ugh!!! I’d try to talk myself out of being upset but I put so much pressure on me or the plans that I couldn’t help but bursting into tears! So, if things seemed like they weren’t going to go according to plan, I tried to find something good in the alternative plans and told myself, “It’s OK!” – the “it’s OK” is so powerful! It’s saying that even if it’s not perfect, there’s something about it that makes it OK! You just have to change your perspective to see it!! With everything going on with the COVID19 – there is a chance that we won’t be able to celebrate our union with all of our family and friends as planned! That sucks! I want them all there for our special moment! But I had to change my perspective! Yes! That is a possibility but it’s OK because that means our elderly family and friends will be safe; we’ll likely save money due to it being scaled way down but we’ll be able to plan a big party to celebrate with everyone at a later time and I’ll be walking away with an awesome man as my husband! Believe me! It’s OK, Kiesh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Perspective. Changed. Find the good in the situation instead of magnifying the bad or imperfect!!! It really makes a difference in your mood as well as those around you because you’ll be essentially bringing them down with your bad vibes on whatever is going on!!
- BE THANKFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- This is the MOST important step of all next to step one! When you take the time to be more thankful to who you are, how you look and everything going on around you – you tend to not complain/dwell on imperfections as much! I started thinking about how I looked before I learned how to take care of myself from the inside out! I thought about how I didn’t know God for myself or what it felt like to be loved by Him or what it felt like to love Him for myself! I thought about how I didn’t know how to love anyone including myself until God came into my life. I thought about how I was trapped in a bad, abusive relationship for 5 years. I thought about how I was surrounded by people who claimed to be my friends but proved to be straight FUGAZI!!!! (fake or damaged beyond repair, for those who don’t know 😊) And now that I’ve given my life over to God, He’s cleaned me up from the inside out – restored my skin and I now look younger than I did 5 years ago! I fell in love with Him and it taught me how to love myself and others the right way! He blessed me with the most amazing, loving, funny, hubby to be, that exceeds every dream I ever had of who my husband would be one day and He has given me the most amazing, loving, funny, uplifting, supportive circle of friends that I only dreamed of having! I am blessed! Why am I worried or complaining about what someone else has when I am BEYOND BLESSED! How would I feel if I woke up and suddenly all the things I listed were gone? I’d be heartbroken! I don’t like the size of my foot – what if I woke up and only had one foot? Or no feet? What if I was the size I was 5 years ago – unhappy and overeating to feel comfort? Oh NO! I redirected my focus! So, I’ve started speaking thankfulness over what I have now instead of waiting to celebrate it (at the perfect moment) and celebrating me! I am learning to celebrate every day and, in all things, because this is what God has blessed me with! I want to take care of my blessings because without them, I’d be a sad, sad woman! 😔 BE THANKFUL! Be intentionally thankful! Look at everything around you – in all its imperfection and think about how you’d feel if it was worse or gone! How would you feel? I bet not too good! So, don’t complain or wish for something else – be thankful for it and if it’s something you can change that will make things better – change it!!!! But be INTENTIONAL in all you do!! Remember, nothing is perfect except for pizza and you’re not pizza, right? Right.😜
I love you guys so much! Thank you for letting me be me (as if it would be any other way regardless though 😉)
With Broken Beautifulness,