I’m Soooooo Blessed!! Wait, Am I?

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Broken Beauts! I am so excited to be back!! My first love is this blog and even though it may seem like I’m far away – I’m really just going through stuff and gathering content to help you guys NOT make the same mistakes I have/am! Hahaha!! LBVS! Anywho! So I told you guys on the last piece that I am a newlywed and I am so excited, thankful and full of joy BUT does that stop the enemy from trying to attack me, my husband or our marriage? Absolutely NOT! His sole job is to steal, kill and destroy and he is so sneaky! A lot of people feel that the enemy’s job ends when God blesses us with what we need and even what we want – but that’s what the devil wants you to think! Let me explain why I say this….

I had to learn that the enemy cannot stop Gods plan! I mean, I don’t care how hard he tries and what he sends our way – he still cannot stop what God deems to be, and the killer is – he KNOWS this! But what he CAN steal is the joy out of our blessings – and in a sense he doesn’t even steal it because we don’t realize that we literally hand it over to him in a nice box with a pretty bow on it! You get the job you’ve always wanted – here comes drama taking the fun out of it – you start complaining and feeling like it was a mistake to have accepted the position and start looking for something else just to escape! You get that relationship you’ve desired for so long – here he comes dropping hints of insecurities, doubts and fears, making you question if its real and helping you self sabotage. I know because I went through this myself.

Probably two months after I got married – I got so sad! I was in a new place, surrounded by new people; I was feeling crazy insecure and emotional and I was just crying! I remember my husband asking me one day what was wrong and I just busted into tears, “I don’t know!” I didn’t realize it but I was allowing the enemy to steal the joy out of my blessing! It was Gods plan all along to bless me with this incredible life and husband and the enemy did all that he could to stop it but it didn’t work – so now his job was to take the goodness out of my blessing by tormenting my mind! I doubted everything! Feared everything! And was always on edge! Looking back on it now, I don’t understand how I couldn’t see it – but ain’t that how it always works! LOL! Seriously though, it was so evident! I had/have no reason to doubt anything! I had/have no reason to be insecure! I had/have no reason to be sad! But the enemy worked on my mind and got me to do all the above!

One of the things I’d say really helped open my eyes to what was going on is I was constantly praying & not just praying for it to end but praying kind of against myself; praying specifically about the smallest things I noticed about myself or that my husband would notice! I have said it from the beginning – the best honesty is SELF HONESTY – and sometimes it hurts to see the issues in ourselves or for our loved ones to see it but hiding behind it, making excuses or being in denial doesn’t do anything helpful for us! It didn’t always feel good but I took those things before My King and I prayed on them every single day and I didn’t just leave it there – I TRIED to actively fight them every day! I didn’t just say I was trying – its like when a situation presented itself God was like, “Pause for a minute, Kiesha and remember what you’re supposed to do not what you wanna do!” (Even today, He still does that for me! He’s so awesome, man! Ahhh!🥰) So in the moments where He’d remind me, I’d do my part even though sometimes it was against what I wanted to do.

So anywho, one day – God took it a step further. He told me simply to “Relax.” Relax God? Really? But that was one of the biggest things that I needed to do! I’ve suffered with anxiety for as long as I can remember and I’m only anxious when I am overwhelmed, thinking too much and not allowing myself to simply be. As well as when I am not as in tuned in my relationship with God and with everything going on, I was always in a rush! Rush to clean up. Rush to make dinner. Rush to read my Word. Rush to go to church! Rush to get to work! Rush to get off of work! Rush to be perfect. Rush! Rush! Rush! A set up for the enemy to play his game in my mind! I wasn’t allowing myself to just BE in my blessing! I wasn’t allowing myself to enjoy my blessing! I was thinking about the changes. I was thinking about the future. I was thinking about all the differences in my life and how I wasn’t around everything and everyone I was used to being around! I was just THINKING, THINKING, THINKING!!! And the joy that God meant/means for me to have was being given to/stolen by the enemy by not doing exactly what God said to do, “Relax.”

Another thing God gave me was to be intentional! See the enemy hopes that he can catch us off guard but we can stop a lot of his attacks simply by being intentional. I started being intentional in enjoying my relationship and the goodness around me! I started taking in the moments more with God, my husband and even myself! I also did something a lot of people don’t realize hinders a lot in our lives and relationships: I started stepping away from my phone! Not just moments where my husband and I were spending quality time with each other or when it was time for me to spend time with God – no, I stepped away to just get away and disconnect; to allow my mind time to breathe and not think and not have the added weight of comparing myself to others or seeing the latest drama on my newsfeed – I even killed the urge to text people just to keep my phone from being dry. I got real ghost. There’s so many benefits from putting our phones down and just enjoying the moments around us – even if those moments are us by ourselves. Meditate. Take a nap. Go on a walk. Dance it out, Yang and Grey style; read a book. Do something that does not require your phone and then suppress the need to Instagram your quiet time. (🤦🏽‍♀️)

These may seem like they won’t make much of a difference but I promise you – these small steps helped me stop the enemy from taking the joy out of my blessings! Does he still try – of course; he’s dedicated to his job – he takes no sick time, or holiday paid time off & no vacations; he shows up to work early and is the last one to leave – he won’t give up! So with all of that being said – that means we cannot give up either! I know sometimes its exhausting – I know it feels as though you’re never done fighting and you never get to catch your breath but the Bible lets us know – there’s a time for everything so it won’t always be like this! That baby you prayed for – the wife you don’t feel you deserve – that pay increase you worked hard for – and anything else that God has blessed you with – stop allowing the enemy to steal your joy, making you forget what you prayed for and what God blessed you with! Stop allowing him to make you complain because things don’t go right all of the time, making you forget what you prayed for! Stop allowing him to make you compare yourself to everyone else, making you think you’re not where you should be or you’re falling behind – remember as long as you’re following God and doing what HE says, that you’re right where you need to be! Take a moment. Look at your blessing. Breathe it in. Close your eyes and remember how sometimes things get rocky and you complain – but then picture the blessing – focus on what you prayed for and imagine in an instant it being gone forever – tell me anything the enemy says or allows you to think is worth being without it forever! You can’t!!!! the enemy magnifies a situation like you’d be better without your spouse, or your children, etc. but just the thought of them being gone or you being in a worse position than you are in now SHOULD bring everything back in perspective. So anytime you want to complain – imagine and then Broken Beauts: Stop. Breathe. Relax.😌

I love yalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💕💕

With Broken Beautifullness,

Kiesh🦋💕

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